Growing Up with Gender Bias: How it Shapes my Experience in the Workplace
By El Wong
Growing up in an Asian family where boys were treated like princes and girls were often overlooked taught me a lot about gender expectations. In many Asian households, these traditional gender roles meant boys were praised for even the smallest achievements, while girls were expected to support, serve, and stay in the background. As a girl, you quickly learn that your worth is tied to your ability to be quiet, obedient, and helpful—not to your intelligence, ambition, or capabilities.
This upbringing left an imprint on me that still shows up in my professional life today. While I’ve grown and worked hard to overcome these internalized messages, navigating gender bias from childhood makes it that much harder to confront the layers of bias I face in the workplace.
Being raised in an environment where boys were elevated and girls were expected to play supporting roles teaches you early on to doubt your value. As women, especially Asian women, we often carry these learned behaviours into our professional lives. We second-guess our capabilities, hesitate to speak up in meetings, and downplay our accomplishments.
When I first entered the workforce, I noticed the familiar dynamic I grew up with—more men in leadership positions, more recognition for their work, and fewer opportunities for women to rise. It was a mirror of the gender bias I had seen in my family. And for women of colour, these challenges are compounded by racial stereotypes. For Asian women, we are often seen as passive, submissive, or not “leadership material,” even when we are more than qualified.
As an Asian woman in corporate environments, I’ve encountered both gender and racial bias. This intersection often leads to a feeling of being invisible or underestimated. You work hard, but it doesn’t always translate into recognition or advancement. Instead, you’re expected to “fit in,” stay quiet, and not disrupt the status quo—echoes of the same expectations placed on me as a girl growing up in a gender-biased home. The bias continues to exists today as an adult woman. Age is not a factor in gender biases.
The challenge for many of us is overcoming both the internalized limitations from our upbringing and the external barriers we face in the workplace. It’s a battle on two fronts—against the cultural norms that shaped us and the systemic biases that hold us back professionally.
The scars of growing up in a gender-biased environment are hard to erase, but they also come with a level of resilience. Breaking free from these limitations takes conscious effort. It means challenging not only the biases we encounter in the workplace but also the ones we’ve internalized over time. I’ve had to push myself to speak up, take credit for my work, and advocate for my own success—things that don’t come naturally when you’ve been conditioned to put others first.
Now, I choose to show up differently. Instead of shrinking, I challenge these biases head-on. I advocate for women like me—those who have had to navigate both cultural and workplace systems designed to keep us small. I also use my lived experience to help others understand that bias, whether rooted in gender or race, is insidious but not invincible.
I invite you to consider one’s lived experience to support and intentionally create inclusive spaces, where everyone—regardless of gender, race, or background—has the opportunity to grow and lead. Disrupting biases requires both systemic change and each one of us has the ability to being part of the solution for the next generation of women leaders.
El Wong is an AI transformation coach and trainer who helps turn overwhelmed business leaders into strategic powerhouses. Follow her on LinkedIn!